Live with it.

Judge? Hate?

2011-12-28T23:20:00.004+08:00

Hatred. I've never felt this much amount of hatred before. I can't stand anything of his. People tell me to be generous, forget about the past and move on. But how can someone forgive and forget that many times? My conscience pricks me whenever I imagine the hurtful sentences that I'm capable of speaking to or about him. Yes, I may hate somebody to the core but it doesn't give me the rights to completely destroy them or their ego. Then again, he destroyed what I held in my heart, what I believed. So shouldn't I do the same? Like they said "an eye for an eye" . Maybe it was unintenional but who am i to judge him? But the moment I saw that conversation, his intentions were clear. First, you cut off all connections and then you did things that were unforgivable. I'm in no place to criticise but you have no idea how much damage was done. Sigh, and I thought you were nice and trustworthy.

Secret.

2011-11-16T20:30:00.001+08:00

Why does this have to be secret?

Am I that unworthy to be known?

Maybe I'm just paraniod.

Tell me that it's why I'm thinking so much.

I HATE THIS.

Lies,

2011-10-30T21:48:00.003+08:00

I change, you change, everyone changes. Sometimes I think i'm very naive and gullible. Whenever I choose to believe someone, it just comes the other way around. You lie, you treat me like I don't exist. Yeah, feels great isn't it? My feelings are like one roller coaster ride. Once bitten, twice shy. I make myself get bitten one too many times. The scars that leaves behind makes it hard to get rid of. Well, it's a scar, HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET RID OF IT?! The imprints of hurt and betrayal seems overwhelming and painful. Yeah, ITS HURTS.

Like seriously?

2011-10-14T23:11:00.003+08:00

Every time I asked if you were okay with it, you said you were fine.

SO NOW YOU ARE BLAMING ME FOR NOT GIVING YOU FREEDOM? LIKE SERIOUSLY?

GET A LIFE.

Hurt.

2011-10-11T20:17:00.002+08:00

Whats hurts the most is to find out that your close friends have been hiding things from you.

What hurts even more is to be doing the same thing, just to get even, and you becoming just like them.

Instincts.

2011-10-04T23:03:00.002+08:00

Sometimes you just can't trust your instincts, 'cause it somehow brings your hope high. And when it turns out that you're wrong, it crashes your hopes so badly its so hard to recover from the pain. I shall blog about the things tomorrow. Got so much going on in me that I can hardly breathe. My stomach flips and everything's lost.

Expectations.

2011-09-21T21:07:00.001+08:00

Haven't been blogging much. Maybe 'cause I can't get any inspirations and my life is relatively boring so there's nothing much to blog about. Got back my prelim results. One word to describe it - SHIT. My English was the worse. What the hell went wrong? Feel like slapping myself. Well, the result did give me a wake up call. Kinda regretted for the all the procrastination instead of productive studying. E maths wasn't really well done either. I've could have gotten an A if it wasn't for those careless mistakes. I know, I know, that doesn't make valid excuses and I ain't suppose to make excuses in the first place. Excuses are for losers. This time I turned out as the loser, but next time I will be the winner. :D HEHE. Listening to Spandau Ballet now. The currents really can't be compared to the oldies. Awesome classics really calms your nerves.

I'm going to sidetrack a little. Life hasnt' really be very kind. It is never kind. I'm in a state of confusion. Think I shouldn't be wavering. I should be firm with my decisions. I should not have any thoughts about you anymore. Its time to move on. Bye.

Fuck Life.

2011-08-07T22:18:00.002+08:00

Today sucks I swear. And watch your words will you? Cos sometimes even jokes end up hurting people.

The only exception.

2011-07-13T22:34:00.002+08:00

People change, and yes I don't want you to change. Oh whatever. I hate the word yes.(It depends on the situation the word is used though.) I'm sick of expecting things. I hate my cranky temper, sometimes. I can't seem to blog about my daily life, cos it seems of utmost boredom. I need something TO EXCITE IT. Oh wait, I have something now. Apparently my mom just shouted at me for not doing the house chores, even when I bothered to ask. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. YOU KNOW WHAT MOM? FUCK YOU! TO HELL WITH THOSE DAMN MOPS. KISS MY ASS, SHITHOLE.

Believe.

2011-07-07T22:23:00.002+08:00

I choose to believe even when the future is bleak. Nothing seems to be working out right. There seems to be this hole that can't be filled. I don't know how to and can't seem to mend it up. I saw you, you in me. Its how memory seems to rush through my brain whenever I see you. I didn't know how great of a impact you've inked on me. Get me out, will you? 'Cause this seems unbearable.

Worn out.

2011-06-23T21:46:00.001+08:00

OHMYFUCK. I've haven felt so tired since like a million centuries before. Everyday seems like a drag.... And this fucking ulcer on my tongue seems to be killing every cell in my body when I eat something. I can sense hatred building up me and I swear, I should stop swearing so much.

DON'T UNDERESTIMATE RUBBERBANDS.

2011-06-13T21:40:00.001+08:00

OH YEAH, THESE STUPID RUBBER BANDS BETWEEN MY TEETH ARE KILLING ME!!!!!! I CAN HARDLY CHEW. SO MUCH FOR BRACES. FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK.

Work on it.

2011-06-09T20:26:00.001+08:00

Pharrell Williams. Ain't he sexy? Like seriously. :D

How can someone be so hot at the age of 38!

Okay okay, enough of procrastination, I so got to do my math. FUCK JUST DO IT!

Cynical.

2011-05-30T22:32:00.002+08:00

Okay... Today's paper was rather.... hmmmm.... HARD. My brain was like dying the whole way through the paper and I wrote the wrong comprehension answer on the wrong blank. -.- FML. I'm tired. Tomorrow shall be a new day, and yes, the start of the holidays means the journey to amend my past mistakes. OH MAY GOD BLESS ME.(though I'm not Christian.)

I think I wanna get tattoo when I grow up... HAHAHA RANDOM.

Pride

2011-05-25T21:36:00.002+08:00

Funny how pride can stop you from making some life decisions of yours. It is somehow stopping me and I'm in some shit dilemma. FML. Yeah, my pride is stopping from telling me how much I want you back.

PFFT.

2011-05-23T21:07:00.002+08:00

YEAH FUCK IT. (I do not own a penis of whatever sort.)

Today is a day filled with lies. I don't know how to describe it. And of cos, it's also filled with depressing feelings. Sadness and disappointment. You name it, I've felt it. Well, I'm not the one experiencing it though, considering myself to be quite a depressing person at this point in time. They say, "time heals all wounds". I believe that's quite true. But the worst of all to be feeling, is a true friend betraying you for his/her own benefits. Quite saddening isn't it? OH WELL, LIFE GOES ON AND YOU PROBABLY HAVE TO FUCK EVERY SHIT THAT U ENCOUNTER. Brace yourself mini humans, karma is on its way.

2011-05-19T21:57:00.002+08:00

From the things that I've experienced, it's probably the mistakes I've made. The presence of you wasn't a mistake, but your departure has definitely made me stronger.

Commitment

2011-05-18T21:13:00.002+08:00

It's funny how one can joke about feelings, love and commitment. If you aren't ready, why bother to use so much effort to get it and just throw it away once it got it? Aren't you just contradicting yourself? You said that the problems lies with you, and yet, you don't make an effort to change at all. FUCK YOU. AND YES, YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM USING THAT WORD.

Emptiness

2011-03-20T22:51:00.002+08:00

You know, when someone you trust so deeply betrays your expectations, your world comes tumbling down. And for a moment or eternity, you become lost. You no longer know what to do, because of you have depended too much on that someone. Its the last day of the holidays, great day to feel that you're not being cherished at all or being treated seriously, wonderful. You scream and yet no one hears, it's as though, you have been muted. I still don't believe in love, do you?

Empty.

2011-02-17T23:17:00.002+08:00

Upon viewing other spaces, I almost forgot how empty this space was. Well, this is an attempt to revive my dear blog, I practically need a source for me to rant to. It has been rather hard up this few days, with common test nearing and SPA exams, you'll never ever get ample rest unless you're some divine god genius from heaven boulevard. Just finish physics, and I'm hoping for a passing mark or maybe even better. Oh may god bless me.

I was thinking hard in my brain today, what I've heard is indeed very different from what I've seen. He loves her, yet he refuses her to give her his attention. She loves another him, and is afraid of giving her his heart. Queer eh? How complicated the human love triangle exist as. I wonder about my own attention span on things. Sometimes its just really too short.

Distance.

2011-01-22T23:48:00.002+08:00

I feel the distance between our hearts. Maybe you realised and chose to kept mom. Me too. But I could feel that my piece breaking each day. What may seem to be on the surface, doesn't seem to be real. All I want, is us to be back before.

Make me wanna die.

2010-10-28T21:16:00.002+08:00

Today wasn't really the nicest day of all. When you start learning exponential equation and logarithm, it's never a good day to start with. Today's performance in court was just bad. Though the last match, the performance rate improved. I felt worried. It wasn't for the first time though. Somehow, I just kept thinking. And it struck me. When someone fails you, you would start wondering, if you have done well in your job, by leading the people beside you, leading them well and making them improve in all aspects. When I was 6, I recalled myself reading the horoscope, saying I had leadership qualities and that inspired me to become a leader. I remember volunteering to be a group leader and felt happy with every praise. Now, the memory doesn't feels nostalgic, but makes me realise how things were so simple then. Somehow, now its just pressure. I feel like a woman with depression, where walls in her world crashed, her kids have became the worst prisoners and her husband left her for another woman. This is the sense of failure I'm feeling. I feel that I fail to lead my team. God,tell me what to do.

Taste my soul, drink my blood. -The pretty reckless.

And this is what they provide.

2010-09-02T22:43:00.002+08:00

They said family was your greatest source of warmth and support. They said family will always be there for you. What a lie. If your family deprives you of the childhood fun, the "once-in-a-lifetime" moment, demoralizes you, thinking that it would help, would you agree that they would be your life? What a joke. Whoever said that, have not gone through the hardship of tolerating your parents' nonsense.

Drained.

2010-08-05T21:45:00.002+08:00

Today was tiring. Well, had training. Need to improve more and I played averagely. Sigh, I hate people who love to suck up. Seriously, I'm very amazed at the fact that how shallow someone can be and how fast that person can change. Double face bitch.

We just don't care.

2010-08-01T22:10:00.002+08:00

School again tomorrow. The only that attracts me is training. Yes, I do hope that I don't screw up. Sitting in the train, staring just blankly into space, then it struck me, on how words can really hurt somebody. Even if its somebody you hate. I think I'm very tolerant, judging from how I can tolerate that person's nonsense. People do change. I believe strongly in that. It doesn't take years, a day makes a big difference. The influence around, changes ones behavior and habits. While some people are just so shallow, you see through them instantly. I have no idea what I'm talking about, but somehow, maybe some of the words I typed, my thoughts was expressed and interpreted. I need sleep. I never seem to get enough of that.

Maybe we'll go too far, we just don't care.

I failed.

2010-07-29T22:01:00.002+08:00

I did horribly at training today. I don't know why. Was it my technique? I guess so. Never felt so horrible before. I'm worried. I'm scared I'll disappoint everybody and myself. This pain, is hard to take away.

The Paths.

2010-07-28T22:22:00.002+08:00

My morning today was practically spoiled by a stupid frog today. All was well, till the end of classes. It made me realise, then somehow tolerance is rather far-stretched but snips very fast once the owner of it snaps. That trust, which you build up in more than how ever long you can imagine, crumbles in the face of an extreme misunderstanding. This is how brittle our lives are. School was not much of a drag today, tuition was okay. But after all has happened, it makes me go into a serious contemplation, on why some people just cling onto something, so tight. Then makes a fool out of themselves, get into trouble and hurting the people that are being dragged due to their immaturity. IT'S JUST PLAIN STUPIDITY. SERIOUSLY, GET A LIFE. I wonder, what is the main thing that revolves our life now. With this much tainted stuff, it isn't much of a world that I imagined when I was 5.

Home ( not really alone.)

2010-07-20T14:38:00.002+08:00

Well well well, its 2.29pm and I'm at home with my injured ankle. What a day to waste. But at least I got to sleep till 12 and need not limp in school or perhaps on a more drastic situation, sitting on a wheel chair. I do miss my friends. And not my lessons. Count myself lucky, I get another extra day to study for my tests. I've been thinking alot. Somehow, some people appreciate you for you've done, for any minuscule stuff but some people just take it for granted. What can I say? Karma will definitely befall on you. :)
N.

I'm late.

2010-07-15T22:51:00.003+08:00

And yes, I know I'm late on this but I'm extremely happy that the Spain team has won the world cup. I shall not speak about the dutch. I'm scared Arjen Robben would come and give me a 3 hour sermon on his team and I would have to give him more than a yellow card in the end. :D. And yes, life couldn't get any suck-ier and I've just renamed myself using Casillas and Alonso. LOL. If you get what I mean. Sigh. Training today. Let me ask you, how to take control of a team that doesn't even have basic self discipline and sense of urgency? Hmm.. to think we even aspire to win something. What a joke. I'm out of ideas.
N.

I lie on the bed and think of you.

2010-06-24T22:23:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder, why the hell would I never fall straight into my slumber, no matter how tired am I? And how someone, could spend the whole day sleeping? Holidays are coming to an end and school's starting. Sigh... Its another start of a horrendous term and I must struggle to survive. This time, I must push myself. I can't afford to get shit results. Damn... boring lessons and sleeping sessions with ah yan in class. LOL. Sigh... Do you ever get some sense of disappointment whenever you hear some things you wouldn't expect from someone who maybe is your good friend? Somehow life is just full of unexpected things.
N.

Distraction & Division

2010-06-21T23:18:00.004+08:00

Sigh, what is this world becoming of? Why do some people get so distracted easily but somehow some people could stick their goals and fulfill it? I know what I want but somehow, I wonder why am I getting distracted by such minuscule stuff like love? And why are you the one? Shit... this is shit. GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! I seriously got to set my priorities straight. There might me a possibility that I might like him, but it's the wrong way to go. Damn it, hitman reborn ep 189 is just a recap. shit la. damn it damn it damn it... Aiya i shall go watch Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi now. Sayonara. ( I wanna master jump serve. ) :(
N.

Adaptation.

2010-06-19T23:21:00.002+08:00

Yes... I have moved. Apparently to a new environment. Well, lets just say I'm adapting. Somehow I miss my neighbour, the extremely lame 18 year old, standing outside my window talking to me. LOL. Everything is changing and so am I. Time for things to move to a better pace. And get rid of those distractions.
N.

Empty House.

2010-06-19T01:07:00.002+08:00

Yes, my house is very empty now. I'm moving out. I will definitely miss the house that I've been living in for 6 years. Sigh sigh. I think my neighbour is crazy. LOL. I think I need to shit. LOL. bye.
N.

Just lay and keep quiet about it.

2010-06-16T23:22:00.001+08:00

I'm at a state that everything to me is just purely plain shit. I wanna spend my whole day just sleeping. Relationships are stupid and its just a waste of time. And yes, that's the conclusion I've derived from just lying on the floor and staring at my ceiling. No offence to those who worship their boyfriend/girlfriend. FML... I don't know why. Sometimes, when people expect you do something but somehow you just can't fulfill it. You think you will and can do it, but it just fails. Just like my feelings for you. I like you... or just so I thought. I wanna nua on my floor now. This is shit. Sleeping is the best. (Y).
N.

You caught me slippin'.

2010-06-14T23:38:00.003+08:00

Oh today was fine. Training was okay. Hope to improve further. Lunched at tp and the guitar hero at qian's house. Been thinking alot. Welcoming you into my life, is it necessary? Are you a need or a want? I have mixed feelings. I want to know you with my heart better. I find your presence necessary but as a friend or a lover? Tell me. Should I or not? Maybe its not the time yet I don't know. If you know the answer, tell me. N.

Manhattan

2010-06-08T21:24:00.002+08:00

Oh god this is shit. I can't find any website to watch gossip girl. I know I'm slow. I actually started watching it last year, but I was too interested in anime that I only had watched half of episode 1 not knowing what was going on in the story. HA. Got back my interest when me and ah yan spotted gossip girl episodes inside her bro's computer. How interesting. Can't believe that she has so much interest in it now that she wouldn't spend a second more with me on the phone talking about sims. LOL. Oh well, Nicole that fat cow has finally uploaded all the pictures from Rachel's bday. Just to find out that I spend most of the time closing my eyes when I took the group photos. DAMN. I hate flashes. SIGH. I'm starting to find the captain role a little tiring. Taking responsibility for almost everything seems a little too much. Holidays are here, and I'm not lifted a finger on my homework. Sigh, I wouldn't wanna see Mrs Han for 2 hrs at the end of the year with my parents acting saint. I had the same dream twice. Holding this particular guy's hand in the same scenario. Oh god, I'm not ready for such stuff. All those relationship mayhem are just not in the right time to come. I know I like you, its just not the time. Relaxation or guitar? I have no idea. Till then, I shall continue coughing and eat my tau huey. :)
N.

Parties

2010-06-06T23:51:00.000+08:00

Hahaha. Today was blast! Rachel's party was great! But I'm still coughing like some old lady. Get well soon my dear throat and I hope you would just die you stupid ulcer. :D
N.

Butterflies;Early summer.

2010-05-28T01:00:00.002+08:00

Today isn't a very nice day which is worthy of mentioning. Thoughts have been running through my brain all day long. Its been long since I've been in such serious contemplation. Not a very good start to the holidays eh? My mood was that bad to the extend I couldn't care less about what people around me were talking about and I could crush a glass wine with my bare hands. I've heard alot today. Call me slow or whatever but I just received a wake up call that not everybody are nice. Well practically everyone are two faced. For example, parents. They like to act nice in front of teachers. The kid doesn't do well, blame the kid. Apparently they like to sound saint in front of teachers and the world's greatest sins are actually committed by their kids. Well, I witnessed this today. I wasn't surprised actually. In fact, I had expected it. It kinda reminds me when I was young. Try reminiscing, the days when you were in pre-school and you did something wrong and when the teacher confronts you, you just blame it to the classmate whose name just happen to flash through your mind in that instant. People who seemed nice aren't nice at all. Well, my results ain't that flashy and I agree. I'm determined to work hard in the holidays, so who are you to judge me? So what if I'm "blank" with my expressions? So what if I couldn't care less about what's happening around me? So what? If you dare say that I spend 15 mins on purely my studies, I have only one thing to say to you. GO FUCK YOURSELF. And yes, that's just your pure excuse. Don't forget, you insisted in pulling me out for dinner when I said I had to study. Giving excuses that it was my grandfather's birthday. I dare you to swear to god using your life that you didn't say that. Practically, parents are just bullshit. No offence to people who worship their parents. Oh please I'll never do that. Like seriously, isn't your conscience pricking you when you start acting saint and all? Acting like a pro-active parent and pulling me down for preaching sessions when your insecurities starts to overwhelm you. Aren't you sick of asking the same thing over and over again? Isit nice to ask me about my exposed relationship? Huh? How many fucking times do you have to ask? And stop pretending like you understand me and all. Oh please, you know nothing. For the 15 years of my life, you know nothing at all. Well, based on your chicken brain analysis, you think that I'm naive and immature. Oh I'm fine with that. I don't need anything from you guys. Just provide me a god damn house, food and allowance till the day I find a stable job. Don't worry, I won't hesitate to move out. Oh and if you come across this, don't bother pulling down for a preaching session, I ain't interested in talking with you guys, because its simply a waste of time as we're just going through the same thing all over again. Oh yeah, don't give that "oh I give up and I won't care anymore" face, I'm not interested. Haven't you got anything new? I'm sick of you guys, I just wanna move out soon.
N.

I'm moving on.

2010-05-18T22:41:00.003+08:00

Sigh... Got back my results today. It wasn't much of a pretty sight. I've got to reflect on what I've not done enough. This time is an almost pass, next time it'll be a pass with a better grade. I'm sick of the mayhem going on in my life. Since the exams are over, I shall take the time to kick back, and relax and think of the things that I've done wrong or not good enough. And to that cat, I had enough of your nonchalance. I'm moving on, I can't afford to and don't want to wait. You think you got the upper hand, you think I can't live without you? Well, I'll do perfectly fine without you. Its fine with me whether you decide to talk to me or not, 'cos you're always leaving me in suspense, making me get used to your absence. And now, your plan worked, you've officially had me got used to your absence.
Oh god. I pray for better results tomorrow.
N.

10.

2010-05-12T23:20:00.002+08:00

Argh. Screw it. I have 10 chapters to study for chem. Sigh sigh. Another late night. Oh please let me pass tomorrow's paper. Finger crossed tightly than before. Sigh.. oh my dear cat... I feel like skinning you alive. Fuck. how sadistic.
N.

Nervousness

2010-05-11T22:07:00.006+08:00

Oh fuck. I'm feeling a great or should I say, MASSIVE sense of nervousness through every part of my body. Where's Mr Chan when you need him?! Urgh... I need to calm down. But the insecurities surrounding me ain't helping.

There you go again. Cold. Cat
N.

Take me away.

2010-05-10T21:38:00.002+08:00

Dear aliens who exist in this world who are harmless,
Please take me away, so I do not have to wake up every single day to face reality and say "fuck my life".

I hope I pass my papers. Fingers are crossed tightly than ever. I want the old me back. Somehow, a sense of nostalgia fills every single day. I want the old me back badly. Sigh sigh. Well, just bear with it a little while more and soon everything will be over.
N.

Now tell me about it.

2010-05-08T17:13:00.002+08:00

Sigh sigh... Studying plan failed. I can't concentrate! I thought I have the whole day to study, but my parents wants me out for dinner. DAMN! And I lost my ez link card... -.- Now tell me about it, how worst can it get? O.O
N.

FML.

2010-05-04T22:35:00.002+08:00

FMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFML.
I'm mentally and physically exhausted. SIGHSIGHSIGH. I'm extremely deprived of sleep.

As usual, I was disappointed with the cat.
N.

facade

2010-05-03T18:16:00.004+08:00

Dear life,
today, I told my favorite cat that we were drifting apart. I started by saying something happy because I didn't want it to really happen. All the cat did was just replying in a word or two. I was disappointed and angry. I missed how the cat use to cheer me up with "its" own crazy way of speaking. But after I told the cat how I felt, the words disappeared. The cat no longer pampers me, but face me up with reality. The cat promised to call today, but I bet "it" forgotten. "It" forgot "its" promise. I was waiting for my phone to ring, but it never did. I told the cat what has happen to us, but "it" did not get half of what I say. TELL ME CAT. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Maybe its time to give up. I don't think I'm the right owner.
N.

I hate cats.

2010-05-02T17:44:00.005+08:00

Boohoohoo. Am at wong's house with wei qian. :D She keeps staring at me while I type. -.- Anyhoo, finally a break from school tomorrow. Sigh. I hate cats. Screw cats. Since you are so lazy, why not just kill yourself? I'm pissed enough and there you go. Stop being hot and cold. I had enough. I hate you. And I hate myself even more. Tell me, what exactly do you want?

edited at 11.03

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERLENE! HOPE YOU LIKED THE CD! :D

Sigh, back to what I wanna blog today. Have you ever feel a sense of disappointment, when someone you like or probably your best friend just treats you like shit? You held high hopes in them and they just break you down. And the things that do that are just like a word. "I'm too lazy to reply your text." Well, FUCK YOU THEN. If you have no intentions, why not just let it go? Like seriously, I hate it whenever you leave me hanging like this. I'm sick and tired of it. You know how I feel and yet you act ignorant about it. Stop it. I'm so gonna get over it. If not I'll be a pile of shit and I'll be living in misery.

Off to play sims. :D

I'm tired of waiting.

2010-04-29T21:21:00.002+08:00

I hate jealousy, like who doesn't. Why am I feeling this every time we talk about her. I don't mind you hanging out with her. I think I'm going nuts. Prolly because, we don't spend much time together like how you use to spend with her. Everyday, I pray, that you would not fall for her. Do you know how much I dread that it would happen? Jealousy kills and things get worst when you decide to text her instead of replying me. Is this what you call love? Quit fooling me around. And I just realise, you don't know me well, not as much as I know you. So much for using the word "love".
English was kinda okay today, but I am very appalled with the sudden downfall of chim vocabulary. HURHUR. The passage was filled with chim words like what the hell. Anyway, chinese tomorrow. I don't wanna write newspaper report! SUCKS. GG. I'm gonna go read something. Bye.
N.

We talked.

2010-04-27T22:35:00.002+08:00

Boohoo, I can't find my inspiration to blog. A maths test tomorrow, damn screwed. SIGH. GG. I can't do a single question on surds in the tys book. WHATTHELL? :(
Somehow I think the decision we made today is right. Maybe we don't really need each other now. Good friends shall be the starting point. 5 more days. :)
N.

Tell me its isn't.

2010-04-26T22:45:00.003+08:00

Tell me it isn't 2 days to the first papers. Tell me it isn't the exam period. Damn, my brain is like dying from massive physics info plunging in, just like the endless amount of rain falling onto the ground in Singapore which makes it feels like the world is going to end. Screw it. Argh, I need help on pure physics and chemistry. At least there's hope on physics since I'm doing mock papers and having remedial. Chemistry is screwed. Having so much chapters to study and having a teacher who isn't helping much in class 'cos everything she says doesn't seem to make any sense to you. Its like those undecipherable Egyptians pictures carved on those pyramids. Get my drift? Anyway, I'm dying. I'm feeling this infinite pain in my heart because of you. I like you. ALOT. And yes, its a torture not being able to tell you. How I am so afraid that you'll give up, not hearing my answer and like her. Everyday is a torture. Tell me when can I say it out? Or should I just give you up?
N.

Oh my Justin.

2010-04-24T23:41:00.002+08:00

Pardon me, I'm currently listening to Justin.......Timberlake's songs. Hohoho, sudden craving. Not a very productive day, but at least I completed my physics homework and revised A maths chapter 1. Shall continue mugging tomorrow. Exams exams exams. Tell me when this word gets out of my life. hehe, Bushy woman is back. Gonna irritate her on Monday and get back my highlighter. I dunno why the hell I'm dying without my yellow highlighter. And I lost my ruler again. -.- Eurrgh.... Watching hitman reborn now. Its getting pretty exciting. Especially you can see the first generation of the vongola family. LOL. So handsome! >.< i'm nuts, you are too. Bye-bi.(hurhur, reminds me of belphegor.)
Some things are better left untold. Just like the feelings I have for you.
N.

Solo.

2010-04-23T23:12:00.002+08:00

Oh like zomgwtfbbq... Why is it so hard for my sims to like fucking get married to this not good looking sim. Bloody hell, waste all my time pressing the flirt button. Excuse me, I'm having sims blues. SIGH... MYE approaching in 6 days, wish me luck. Facebook is getting boring... I wanna play sims, but I'm stuck talking to him and my eyes weigh a thousand tons. FUCK. Lack of sleep is really a killer. I officially hate Mondays. I use to let it pass by normally but ever since I realise the fact of how much I dreaded school, Monday-Thursday sucks. Bring me Friday every single day. Sparks fly... Eurrgh, serious mugging tomorrow. Thank god its a weekend. And bushy woman is coming back. ^^. Gosh... tell me why I'm falling for you.
N.

First Time

2010-04-19T22:53:00.002+08:00

There's always a first time to every single part of your life. Like having your first kiss, having your first hug, having your first argument with your bestie.... blah blah blah and the list goes on. I think my life is like plunging into the mid depth of hell. hohoho~ Screw my studies. I need to break up with computer before I break up with my studies man. SIGH. I hate it when I need to go into serious contemplation on some stuffs. Stop befalling relationship mysteries on me. GODDAMNIT. I wanna tell you how much I like you but somehow something is always holding me back. Off to sleep cowies. I dun have ang mo accent. -.-
N.

FUCK.

2010-04-15T23:07:00.004+08:00

Eurrgh.... Lack of sleep. I think I will become like my sim character, just faint when I'm lack of sleep. HURHUR. It feels like a Friday when its a Thursday. Sports day tomorrow. Somehow, I'm dreading it. Something's wrong. o.O I want the old "bookworm me" back. So I'll study harder than usual, to the extend of waking up at 4 am just to study. Tsk. LOL. My dad said I was a pessimist, much to how I want to deny, I'm somehow am one. Vocabulary test tomorrow, why am I not surprised that I'm not studying. hehe. Somehow I sense another fail grade under my belt. My eyelids weighs a thousand million tons when it comes boring lessons. And now, it feels like I haven't been sleeping for decades. I should sleep soon. Bye ninjas.
Tell me that I ain't lying to myself. Tell me that I don't need you. Cos I think I'm starting to like you.
N.

Exams.

2010-04-14T21:49:00.004+08:00

I'm having a hard time on pure subjects. SIGH. I know I need to work harder than usual. If not, I will be failing all my test till the end of the year. -.- 15 days. Off to plan my studying timetable. I've lost interest in blogging. I'll be back, if I find my inspiration.
Park Bench Theories.
N.

I did not.

2010-04-07T21:19:00.000+08:00

I did not do anything and somehow everything becomes my fault. Just get me out of this shit. It has nothing to do with me.

Implication.

2010-04-06T21:51:00.001+08:00

Tell me why am I always being implicated on things that doesn't concerns me in the first place. I wasn't in the wrong, I didn't say a single word. Can't I just be left out on such stuffs?

Jealousy.

2010-04-05T21:35:00.002+08:00

As usual, school is sucking my life out of me. I hate tests. Exams is like screwed up sex. I will never forget this phrase. Sigh... I hate this feeling in my heart. yeahyeah, like who doesn't. Screw this palatypu-shit, comes always at the wrong time.
Come back my friend, I'm afraid of losing you again.
N.

Reality hits.

2010-03-31T22:43:00.002+08:00

Today was great. I love today! Right yan yee and wei qian? :D But somehow reality hits and I still have 2 reports undone. sigh... SCREW CHINESE AND DAVID THAM SUCKS. (N)
To_____,
Chill kay? everything will soon be alright. ^^.
N.

Give me a break.

2010-03-24T21:35:00.005+08:00

Sometimes, some people just can't shut their mouths on some things. Do I look like I know you very well? NO. And I've already close one eye on you talking behind my back on things that are not true with your friends. Do I look like I'm on good terms with you? NO. So if you have nothing to ask and nothing to say, just shut up. Stop asking me the same question. And please, I have no intentions of associating with you and your friends in any way.

This is not going to be an easy week for me. I know it. But somehow, I'm getting over it and I'm halfway there. I'm not gonna let my emotions lead me by the nose anymore. Not the good time to be emotional.

Stop appearing in front of me. You know I'm avoiding you in all ways. Stop making my hard work go to waste.
N.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?!

2010-03-19T21:37:00.004+08:00

Oh gawd. At least today wasn't that bad. Or maybe it was even more horrible. Can't believe I actually made an extremely racist comment. I apologise to H for that. Am terribly sorry that I said that. OMG. Can I don't do my homework? Sigh...

We were once close friends and then we got into a relationship. The breakup left us both heartbroken and now we are barely even friends. Is this what you've wanted?
N.

Platypussies.

2010-03-17T20:41:00.004+08:00

Another day gone like that. Even though there isn't school, I still feel that my energy is being sucked out of me. Bloody shit, I think my life is getting dull. Screw it. Sigh, I need to find something to do. SOMEONE MOTIVATE ME TO DO MY HOMEWORK! I need pressure relief. I think I should go for anger management classes, because some pussy is making me so angry that I wanna punch him at the balls. And yes, I'm referring to you. PUSSY. Sigh... I think I'm losing myself.

I don't know why i suddenly feel like i hate everything in the world

(as quoted from Melanie.)
N.

You make my heart flutter.

2010-03-16T21:48:00.002+08:00

OHGODDAMNIT. Today was shit. (N) When was any day good for me? Played like shit today. I need to improve! 11 days has passed. You know what it means. I miss you, but you'll never be mine. Oh wait, you were never once mine. Your heart wasn't there in the first place, so what's the point of hanging on? I wish I had powers like Byakuran (even though he's the bad guy), to travel to different worlds, as in referred to different possibilities of the future. I believe in parallel worlds. I wish I had the power to travel those parallel worlds. So I would know what I must do to make myself happy. But wouldn't that be selfish? Its as though making the world revolve around you. Sigh... This is so complicated. I wanna go live with Hiruma or Hibari. Life would be so much better. Call me delusional or whatever. Life is boring. I hate homework and boys. Bunch of loser shitz.
Is this what they call karma?
N.

Supermassive.

2010-03-15T20:50:00.003+08:00

This was how I felt today. >.<
Today was practically wasted. >:( I can't believe that I actually paid 70 bucks to see how people crash in a plane and how I, was a total failure in controlling one. Bloody shitzo, waste my time. Plus, there wasn't any sense of satisfaction when the plane crash. No blood or any mutilated body parts. sian. -.- I would have rather gone training. But for the sake of the 70 bucks I paid, I went. :( Oh great some bloody bastard is pissing me off. Stop thinking you're charismatic and all, I won't die without you. LOSER. GO FUCK YOURSELF.
That's all for today. Bye.
N.

I shall blog this the YAN YEE way.

2010-03-11T23:10:00.003+08:00

Since yan yee says that my blog is so depressing, I shall blog it with a smile on my face. LOL. I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY TODAY. (Y) <-------- LOOK YANYEE IT'S THE WORD HAPPY! AREN'T YOU ELATED TO THE MAX! OH MY PHONE'S SO HAPPY THAT ITS VIBRATING NON STOP! YAY!.
(sense the happiness... -.-)
N.

Rants.

2010-03-10T21:56:00.003+08:00

I'm tired, confused, miserable, frustrated, feeling loser-ish, distracted, feeling like a zombie and feeling that my life is in a mess. Your hug is what I need now. But I know, you'll never know how I feel.
N.

I am not having an easy time on this.

2010-03-07T22:51:00.002+08:00

The 2nd day.... Guess I'm not feeling that bad afterall. Somehow my nonchalance is helping me out a little. Though my brain is still flashing images of him. And now I'm like going ga-ga over his pictures that we use to take. Okay, we only took like 2 pictures? Oh nevermind. Anyhoo, I need to get use to the life that no long had his presence. Now everything is just back to it used to be. Just that he had left some foot steps behind. Somehow break ups aren't that easy to get over huh? Now its time to focus on my studies and move on in life. I can't possibly still mourn on the fact that he's already gone. Drowning my eyes with tears and being depressed all the day long ain't the solution. I bet he had already got over it. Had a not so nice dinner at some restaurant. Shall not name it in case it comes and sue me. :X UGH, school tomorrow. Oh please make it a better day tomorrow.
Best friends forever, okay?
N.

Paranoid.

2010-03-05T20:25:00.002+08:00

Oh great what a wonderful life I have. With such paranoid parents which can link anything with sex and residence in my block invading my privacy. FUCK. FUCK YOU ALL TO THE DEEPEST DEPTH OF HELL. ASSHOLES. Are you guys extremely happy to the max taking pictures of me and ____ and showing it to my parents and then telling them that my guy friend came over to my house? Oh welll, GET A LIFE MOTHERFUCKING SON/DAUGHTER OF BITCH/BASTARD. IF YOU GUYS HAVE NOTHING TO DO, GO AND COMMIT SUICIDE. STUPID. And to my parents. Thank you guys so much for saying that you guys "trust" me and "respect my privacy". Now, I feel like a paranoid little kid believing that there's a PI following me every single day. OH YES, I LOVE THE PRESENCE OF IT. Thanks to you guys, my life is now upside down and I've totally lost control of it.

To______
I wanna tell you my innermost thoughts right now but I just could not phrase it into words. I wanna end this thing with the last of everything we use to share.
N.

Nonchalance.

2010-03-02T22:07:00.002+08:00

Argh damn it. I think the nonchalance in me is the serial killer of all things. Tell me why I couldn't feel a single thing? Feelings for you are fading each day. I'm failing almost everything. I should just reflect on the things I've done. I hate getting implicated on things which I don't even bother. What hell fairness is there? I should really get the seriousness I use to have when I was in sec 1 back. No point acting cool and getting all nonchalant. I have a lot of thinking to do. And your attitude is the key factor.
N.

You're Lying.

2010-02-28T22:46:00.003+08:00

CA's coming to an end! ^^ It was a turbulent week. I hope everything settles down soon, but I know, something massive is about to hit. And probably something is going to come to an end. I might miss it terribly but if I continue, I might be a fool for the rest of my life. Its time to make things clear. We shouldn't hide it anymore. Time to say it all. A moment which we may dread, but somehow it got to come. It may not be killing you, but everyday, inside me, a part of it is dying. You may not understand because you're not the one being fooled. I am.

This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now.
But I know you were never once there.
N.

Break it.

2010-02-24T22:20:00.005+08:00

"Lets just end it here. Maybe that's the best thing to do. And I know you'll hate me for this."
N.

Exams is like screwed up sex.

2010-02-23T21:23:00.002+08:00

OH GOD. Exams and school are like sucking the life out of me. And once again I feel like a 80 year old woman surviving old age. Oh wait a minute, I have never once stop feeling like that. School was rather okay today. Must be the caffeine from the cappuccino that I've drank this morning that had worked a miracle. English was... easy? I had to cut short my story though. Then followed by chemistry and physics which I failed to understand anything. BOOHOO. Then was recess, which I kinda irritated banana. I'm sorry. And the boring lessons continued.
Its hard to balance everything in your life. Some things you just kinda take for granted. There are probably things that you wouldn't wanna lose it but somehow you don't cherish it well when you have a full grip of it. I don't wanna lose you, but keeping you along is selfish. Lots of things are stuck in my head and heart and these are just the tip of the iceberg. I should seriously, go to sleep. Tsk.
N.

Missed out.

2010-02-20T23:51:00.002+08:00

Oh damn it. This week is missing out week. Missed out the fun of CNY this year. Sucks ttm. :( I should start being more serious about my work soon. Training at RJC today. I was a total epic failz on umpiring. Sigh... Was waiting for _______ to call me. And after 23653475 years, he finally did. School's really tough this year, though I'm getting all nonchalant about it. You ask me, what does my heart says? Well, it tells me nothing. I don't get how characters in cartoons or shows listen to their heart. I tried and it tells me nothing. LOL? I wish I could be less paranoid and be more trusting. Probably his absence is making me like this. I can't go on like this, blaming every single thing on him. As if the sins I've committed are all because of him. I should just shut myself in a room and start reflecting (probably after my exams). OH GOD.
N.

Happiness?

2010-02-11T22:24:00.002+08:00

As tempting as it seems to touch my guitar, my hands totally refuses to play in it any single way because of my horrible mood. Don't ask me why. I feel like a 80 year old woman struggling to survive old age but its not going in a good way. Well, usually you wouldn't really mind that your friends say some hurtful words 'cause they don't really mean it. But sometimes, when they say that, you kinda regretted treating them so well. Reality kicks in and you feel that you are being used. Oh bummer. Well, that's life isn't it? People use each other to gain what they want. Even teens do that. For example, a simple KFC meal drives a teen into sucking up to his friend in order to get a treat. How corrupted the world has become. BOOHOO. I don't feel like I'm of my usual self lately. Getting mindful on those little details and neglecting those huge ones. A great example would be failing my Add maths, chemistry and physics test. And whats more interesting(tsk, what a way to put it) is that I'm actually the lowest in class. Tsk. -.- I should just set my priorities straight. Time to stop being so stupid and nonchalant and start focusing on things that will benefit.
Bye suckas.
" If happiness was guaranteed before I'm with you, I wouldn't be in such a state now. So much for saying that you actually cared."
N.

Why am I not surprise?

2010-02-09T22:02:00.003+08:00

Facts will always remain as facts and lies will always remain as lies. Don't you agree? But rumours and gossips are craps. Fatigue is taking a toll on me. I wonder how much longer can I bear with it. Lessons are boring. Sometimes sleeping is just the best remedy to escape all this crap. Oh bummer, I've realised that I've become more nonchalant each day. And there's this crazy guy who just added me on msn, randomly telling me that he has a puppy. tsk. Do I look like I even care? NO. Okay, back to being nonchalant. I used to fret over not doing my homework during my sec 1 and sec 2 days. I remember the times that I used to rush my homework with my classmates. Good times man... Some pervo is constantly asking me to see his puppy. crazy asshole. Moving on... Chinese lessons are like shit. I don't even bother doing her homework anymore. Who even cares about getting a zero? Argh damn it. I should make that asshole shut up now cos he's seriously getting on my nerves. Bye people.
N.

Drastic?

2010-02-05T23:24:00.002+08:00

How should I start this post... HMMM... Anyway I've started it. LOSER. I love tau huey.(Y) Like finally, ITS FRIDAY. But I've got to wake up early tomorrow for gym. BOOHOO. But for the sake of volleyball, I shall do it. *dies*. Anyway, I've just realised something, HUMANS ARE SELFISH BEINGS. You literally own something, and somehow, you wouldn't want to share it with people. Once you see that something is in the hands of some other human, you get jealous. Get the drift? Somehow the things you know that you don't want me to know I know it but its just that you don't know that I know it. <--------- This sentence is dedicated to _______. Sometimes, when you are unsure of something, its better to voice it out rather than keeping it to yourself. Though maybe it may have some drastic change but why not take the risk? Damn it! Can't you notice the HUGE HINT?! YES YOU! THE HUGE HINT!

To someone:
I know, somehow, inside your heart, every second is like a needle poking. I know how you feel. You're important to me. I know its killing you but its killing me as well. Why can't we go back to how we used to be? Where everything is JOY. The JOY we used to share, instead of awkward situations covered with awkward smiles. Just remember, I'll always be by your side. No matter what, I'M NOT GONNA LEAVE YOU. And yes, this part is for you, as well as the sentence above. YES YOU! YOU!
N.

At a slower pace.

2010-02-02T21:27:00.003+08:00

Oh great. I shall blog before I start on my revision. Today sucked. In any aspect, IT SUCKED. I'm lazy to elaborate. kthxbai. (I learn this from nic. :D) <----- Look at this Yanyee [ if you are ever reading] ITS A SMILEY FACE! What's up with the word MASTURBATE?! Have you ever not done that HUH?! ( Well obviously I don't do that and have never done that.)
N.

HEAR ME.

2010-01-31T16:31:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I wish I could tell you my inner thoughts straight away without any contemplation.
Sometimes, I wish you could be beside 24/7.
Sometimes, I wish you were the one.
Sometimes, I wish you could give me a call.

Careless. :(

2010-01-29T21:06:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, seriously sometimes, I wish I could be smarter and more careful!.

DEAD.

2010-01-19T21:23:00.003+08:00

ARGH DAMN IT. MY DEAR RIGHT ANKLE! RECOVER SOON! I FREAKING HATE THE SMELL OF THE CHEENA MEDICINE AND THE THOUGHT OF WEARING A SUPER LONG ANKLE GUARD FOR THE NEXT 6 MONTHS! SO FOR MY SAKE, GET WELL SOON!

I'm dead beat. Hope to achieve something greater on Thursday, Instead of making those silly mistakes. I'm not emo okay firezen taicho & JR. I just don't feel like blogging when I'm in a good mood. I need a place to rant when I'm feeling not so good.
(P/S I feel nonchalant now. I don't always blog when I'm sad/depress or wadeva.)
N.

IT'S SUNDAY AND tomorrow's monday. -.-

2010-01-17T18:09:00.004+08:00

I think the picture expresses the title perfectly. LOL. Qian & Yan.
DARN IT! I HAVE MATHS TEST TOMORROW! The good thing is... THERE'S TRAINING! :D I hope tomorrow would be a great day, except the fact that I'm gonna get angry at someone.(or maybe not.) tsk. Bye.
N.

What's The Point?

2010-01-15T13:59:00.002+08:00

You claimed everything with your words. But you have never ever done it. Not even once. You ain't a meticulous person. I trusted you, but somehow, I regretted it. Not even a phone call or a single text of consolation. Is that what you really are? How many hearts have you broken? I bet a millions of it. But I know, my heart won't be one of them 'cause I won't make it to be. Actions speak more than words. Stop making empty promises. For god sake, I'm tired of it.

Damn it. I injured my ankle again. WTF. I miss school, well, my friends only not the lessons. Firezen taicho I will recover fast and we'll fight hollows again! MUHAHAHA. :D
N.

Detest.

2010-01-12T21:52:00.002+08:00

Ohmy... I had never like to use the word hate, as it has an extremely strong meaning. But since I'm at such a stressed up and upset stage of my stupid life, (FML). I will still not use it hence I shall replace with the word detest. Have you ever detest something ever in your freaking entire life that to a point you start crying and have such repulsion for it? Well, I'm currently feeling that right now. Its extremely horrible. Imagine that you coming home to an argument with your parents almost every single day. It's annoying and nerve-wrecking. For a moment in my life, I wanna be a deaf person. For god sake, I wish that they could just stop throwing their whatever tantrum at me and just SHUT THE FUCK UP. For god sake, because of that, I'm starting to detest school, my life and everything around me. I am so stressed up and its only the 2nd week of school like WHATTHEFUCK. To think they actually claim that they are understanding parents. What is the world becoming of? Like seriously, I think I should welcome 2012 with open arms. I have officially, lost all of my sanity. I think I'm gonna have a nervous break down soon. FUCK MY LIFE.

And I stare at the phone, he still hasn't call.
N.

Isit too much to ask for?

2010-01-10T00:10:00.000+08:00

Of All the things I believed in, I just wanna get it over with. Tears form behind my eyes but I do not cry. Counting the days that past me by, I search deep down my
soul.

I am feeling extremely depressed at the moment. Its not a good thing. I know I shouldn't put just purely trust what people is saying but everything is still not falling into place. What's wrong with you and what's wrong with me? Is trust so hard to be found? Where were you when I needed you? To think you claim that you miss me every second. I know, your world doesn't revolve just only me, vice versa. I just feel insecure. This feeling is killing me.

I want what's yours and I want what's mine.
N.

You make my heart skip a beat.

2010-01-08T22:57:00.002+08:00

To summarize the week, it was horrible and tiring. I have never felt so tired before. Like I said in the last post, my eyelids are feeling so heavy everyday as though millions of people are residing on it. Thank god its friday but I still have to report to school tomorrow for CCA orientation. Fuck. Its been ages ever since I've touched my guitar, confirm gonna screw up on Sunday. Somehow, these days I'm hoping that around me is just pure silence. Like seriously, my day was fucked up 'cause of a stupid argument with my parents over a dictionary. Like whatthefuck. And my mum just can't SHUT THE FUCK UP. The root of the problem. Mother fucking Chang. Moving on... Lessons are a bore, especially English and Chinese. I have never dread this classes so much before for my entire life. FML. These days are horrible. There's so much in my heart I wanna say but I just don't know how to phrase it into words.
N.

4th day,

2010-01-07T22:26:00.002+08:00

OHMYGOD. It's only the 4th day of school and I'm already stuffed up to my neck. I hope I'll survive.
First period was PE. Took my height and weight. Like wtf I merely just grew only 2cm. I'm not like hoping to grow 10 cm a year like I used to. I wouldn't wanna be a freak of nature like what stupid tham hopes to be. But at least let me reach 170cm before I stop growing. I pray hard to god, AMEN. (though I'm not christian.)
Then next was Emaths a.k.a maths class. It wasn't that bad actually. Just that some assholes just couldn't shut their mouth. At least I was able to concentrate but I'm still in midst of confusion. tsk. -.-
Then was motherfucking chinese. That stupid chang is a total motherfucking asshole. She speaks so fast like a stupid machine gun and expects me to catch what she's saying and write it down on my composition book. LIKE WHATTHEFUCK. What's worst is she uses extremely chim words that I have to ask my people how to write it. I am so gonna flunk chinese this year. Hopefully I can get transferred to another class.
Moving on... recess... Nothing much.
THEN IT WAS FREE PERIOD LIKE YEAH! Went to the library and slacked.
After that was English. One word to describe:unfathomable. I seriously can't catch what that huang was saying and can't be bothered to. Just know that she's crapping something irrelevant to English.
Then it was physics class. Sat beside Sueanne. :). It wasn't that boring actually. Soon it ended and like finally curriculum time has ended.
Had training till 6. Then went home with ____.
Shall end here. Since I'm so tired and my eyelids feel so heavy, as though a million people is residing on each side. Horrible. Last but not least, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALOYSIUS LIM JIA WEI(STUPID FROGGY).
Bye peeps. *poofs*.
To Paul Loh:
I HAVE EXTREMELY AWESOMELY DAMN COOL TOTHEMAX LIKE WHOA WHATTHEFUCK WAS THAT MOTHER FUCKING ASS INTIMIDATING HOT AND SEXY PLUS SUPER DAMN POWERFUL NINJA SKILLS THAT WILL FOREVER PWN YOU EVEN IN YOUR NEXT LIFE!!!!!!!!!! TEEHEE.
N.

First Day Of School.

2010-01-04T21:08:00.002+08:00

2010 arrived and I'm like sec3. Its my third year in this pathetic school and I'm considered a senior. How old it sounds. First day was effing boring. Like the usual custom, pupils congested in the freaking school hall listening to the principal crap for like 30 mins. Then followed by more talks. Like WHATTHEFUCK. Then lots of crap going on and it was finally recess! I thought I had escaped torture but who knows, the canteen is like more fucking congested with 3 levels having recess at the same time. The canteen stall queue are like longer and its like harder to find spaces to sit. Then you have to see some fucking idiot face for the entire year... Like OMFG. I think like every sight of that asshole a part of me just died, well literally. Moving on... Had training. Screw my stupid spiking skills. Need to work on it more. Like seriously. I'm totally worn out today. I have never been so tired before, to the extend I wanna sleep now. But I won't 'cause I feel extremely weird sleeping early. I'll probably wake up by midnight. I seriously miss my old class. I can't seem to communicate with anyone in the class... I won't have any first thoughts of anyone before I get to know them. No pre-judgments. I think I'm gonna disappear like anytime. My awesomely ninja cow skills are like failing me now. I should invent a "prevent-falling-asleep" skill. Paul, I'm not siao, this is call imaginative. :).
Last but not least, screw my stupid textbooks which are like effing heavy and I have to carry them almost everyday. Fucker. -.-
N.

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T15:45:00.003+08:00

WASSUP PEEPO! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDD Oh like finally 2009 is over and 2010 is here. YEAH! Countdown-ed at qk's house yesterday. Fun, but I had to go back early. -.- DAMNED... THANKS TO MY MOM'S PMS-ING SYNDROME AND MY DAD'S FAILED-TO-FULFILL-PROMISE-AND-SCARED-OF-WIFE SYNDROME. >:C Okay yeah like whatever. Moving on. We gambled, yeah we did but with monopoly money. (we are definitely not future gamblers.) Then monopoly-ed. HAHA. DAMN FUN. STUPID VIDEOS AND PICS ON FACEBOOK. CHECK IT OUT YOURSELF. Then...then...then. Oh yeah... I didn't see people writing New year resolutions this year. I'm too lazy to think of one anyway, waste my brain cells. Then when I got home, 3G-ed the guys and countdown with them. HAHAHA. WE ARE PEOPLE WHO USE TECHNOLOGY WISELY. ;D. HURHUR. Stoning at my grandma's house now. Cool way to spend the new year. (err...no sarcasms here, I love my grandma okay.) Thank god I didn't go WWW with my parents, bet it'll be like flooded with people. Then there will be kids who can't hold their pee and start peeing in the swimming pool. (ohmyfuckingshitz ewww.) Moving on.... I'm bored and I don't know what to write anymore. HURHUR. IDIOT. Shall end here with a video from nigahiga. Cool guy. :) Bye.

N.

Entertainment and Disasters.

2009-12-30T23:52:00.002+08:00

SUP PEEPS. Today was kinda fun. Went out with the clique except jing yi cos she had tuition. Watched bodyguards and assassins then went qian's house to play guitar hero then watched paranormal activity. It isn't that scary like seriously. HAHA. COUNTDOWN AT THAMMY'S HOUSE TMO. BYE. *POOFS*
N.

Have You Ever...?

2009-12-29T00:07:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna go melancholic on this post.(but I'm not depress, though the definition of melancholy is depress. I just like to use the word. OKAY?!) Can't stand my stupid brain going through all the stuff I've experienced. Well that's what you do when you are extremely bored and you listen to some stupid but nice songs. How contradicting. -.- Anyway, *stops for 5secs to think what to write*. Oh great, my thoughts are disrupted by a stupid notification from FB. Dang. Now I need to recollect what I wanna write. Okay, I can't remember what I wanna write so I'll just type out whatever comes to my mind.
Have you ever not cried? I don't think anyone has attain that. LOL. Oh nevermind. Weihao's being stupid and random by calling me and asking me stupid questions. LOL. Moving on... I think I'm still hanging a little on some stuffs, which I find it amusing and stupid at times. Come and ask me what I'm referring to! Kidding, don't do that. Moving on to the next point. I kinda regretted on some decisions I've made this year, damn dumb I tell 'ya. Sometimes, I seriously don't get what I'm thinking. I'm rather stupid sometimes, but still my intellectual level is high okay! Ong ren yong. I'm seriously can't remember what to write. I'm just bored. And I suddenly thought of this, "everything will eventually come to an end." Yeah, things like relationships and life. You know, heartbreakers? Nevermind, no link. I just realise its 1am. Woah... I'm hungry... But I'm resisting 'cause if I eat I'll grow fat... And soon my body will be like lumpy. (no offense to fat ppl. If you find it offensive tell me.) Then I'll be like... I dunno? Forget it.At least I have something to eat at home, not like poor david thammy who has nothing and is hungry haha. Kidding, don't befall bad karma on me. LOL. Maybe this post isn't that melancholic at all... well some parts la. I'm gonna poof off now. Since I'm a little tired and extremely hungry. -.- Bye. *Poofs*.

I know we'll eventually come to end. Its just a matter of time.
N.

Bored.

2009-12-27T18:24:00.003+08:00

I'm so bored till I am blogging and seeing Jay chou act cool and flirt with a girl on tv. LOL. Pathetic. School's gonna reopen soon... in like 8 days time. WOAH. Bye.
N.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2009-12-25T23:17:00.002+08:00

YOZZY~! MERRY CHRISTMAS PEEPS! YAYHOO! Hope you guys had a wonderful christmas and receive lots of presents! :DDDD
The boys plus jing yi and en qi came over today. Had lots of fun. :D Hope we can do this next year! The clique! Hope we can celebrate together soon! Luv you girls TTM! :D
Shall end here. bye. :D
I didn't know I would be so addicted to you, till the point I get upset over little stuffs.
N.

2009-12-22T22:33:00.002+08:00

FUCKING SHITZ. I CAN'T BELIEVE MY PARENTS ARE THIS RUDE, IDIOTIC AND LEAST UNDERSTANDING. I'M ACTUALLY ASKING NICELY AND I GET SHOUTED AT. WHATTHEFUCK?

I really, wanna hear your voice now. :(
N.

BOOHOO

2009-12-22T21:02:00.002+08:00

OH HELLOZ HUMANZXC. Today is boring. Yes, VERY BORING. Benedict lets crap on Facebook! Where the hell are you?????!!!!!! I bet paul loh is probably measuring his dick like some himbo. hurhur. Ignore the above crappy sentences except the "today-is-boring" part. I can't wait for christmas, I can't wait to say merry christmas to all my friends. ARGHHHH.... I can't think of anything to type about. School is starting in like 1 week time. BUMMER. Long pants, usual skirts, naggy teachers, a whole new bunch of classmates(OMG). I hope next year would be a great year. Rather than a year with gossips and heartbreakers. OMG, no link. I'm off to agitate someone, probably jing yi. HAHAHAHA. BYE. *POOFS*.
N.

NATALIE IS DEad !

2009-12-17T17:05:00.002+08:00

HELLO!! ENQI HERE !! Nat is not here !! she die liao (: just joking .. just to make her blog alive! i shall "blog" for her !! OHWELL! i think nat's enjoying herself now la ! LOL! i miss her . LOL ( im just joking , i dont miss her ) bahaha!! LOLS! so yeah , she confirm enjoying herself one la she .. DORTSS!! THAT's all !! BYE!

STOP DOTA-ING... DOTA RUINS YOUR LIFE!

2009-12-12T14:23:00.002+08:00

OH LIKE WHATTHEFUCK.... Like seriously, can't you guys(boys) just fucking reply my text and stop playing dota? You know, I've to wait a million years for you guys to reply me. For god sake, the world's dying with glacias melting at a rapid speed on the himalayas and you guys are still playing dota. HELLO! THERE IS MORE SERIOUS MATTERS ON HANDS OTHER THAN DOTA! *dies*
Ignore me, I'm pms-ing. No Nic, I don't have early menopause. I'm still 14 not 41. Sigh... school starts in like 3 weeks? (i think). I'mma failure. I've been slacking through the entire holiday, without even reading a book. tsktsk. Noob. Fuckfuckfuckfuck... Its a saturday and instead of doing something fun I'm pms-ing. tsk. -.- Can die. I need ice, to make my anger subside. Someone ask me out of something! I'm in desperate need of pleasure. No, not sexual pleasure but fun with friends. Weekends without friends sucks. -.-

N.

Limits.

2009-12-10T22:27:00.004+08:00

I always told myself to bear with it, as things would change for the better. But I was wrong. I could no longer see what's in front of me. Everything's a blur. Its as though I've lost all of my priorities. I was proud, I always thought those minor stuff could never hurt me, but I was wrong. I always thought crying was stupid, well till now. I see no point pouring your tears out till your eyes becomes your natural waterfall and after that it becomes damn swollen. I think I stuffed too much things up into heart... Now I just can't breathe. And soon the things just turn into anger. Everything is just hard to put into words. Sometimes, you just wanna hear someone's voice so badly that you call him/her without any rhyme or reason. And it turns out that the person just offends you with a sentence and your world turns upside down. My ears have shut themselves and my eyes are blinded. I see no truth, I see no lies. Everything is just so hard to predict. I hate you but I love you at the same time. You're the only one in the entire world, who is strong enough to make a crack on my heart. But still not strong enough to break it. You're probably, worst than the phantom.

I need you, but your actions are making me weak. Its as though we're not as strong as we used to be.
N.

hope you recover soon NAT !

2009-12-09T21:26:00.002+08:00

HOHOHO! Hiie Nat's daily readers ! enqi here to post for nat again -.-' she's total lazy to update her blog !! ROAR !! -.-' okay , so today had training , and Nat came too !! woo !! how great !! training was so slack today !! so , B'girls went to AVA to watch the video of themselves playing with Paris Ris Sec ... hohoho , while they watch , we were training with the RJC girls ... HAHA!! seriously saying arhs , they very noob ehs ! OPPS ! HAHA ! lol . then i think coach let them watch the video , then coach came to ISH , then he trained us with the RJC girls the he spiked to us , then must receive and stuffs luhs . then it's our turn to go AVA to watch some video thingy about positions and stuffs luhs ! then it's air con room mah , then we all sweat a lot , then super cold luhs ! OMG !!! they seniors watch the video le , then they were telling me and sindy that we gossip a lot ehs !! lol .. talk a lot .. . kai xin say like watching comedy like this .. lamo -.-' HAHA!! then after we watch finish everything le , then off we go !!! went to TP have lunch , saw kai xin and danw there too -.-' then homed !! EH NAT! faster recover hors !wanna play with you hor !! FASTER LUHS !!

Can Die. -.-

2009-12-09T00:08:00.002+08:00

I've ran out of ideas for my title. So here's a ah beng one. LOL. (wtf am I typing?)
Anyhoo I,
SLEEP,SLEEPING,SLEPT,HAD SLEPT,WAS SLEEPING, AM SLEEPING...
today. For the entire day. tsk. -.-
Can't believe that my life is so boring.
Love is blind and I'm not blinded by it.(Random)
tsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsk. -.-
I'mma goo training 2morrow. But not playing.
GET WELL MY ANKLE! FOR YOU I'VE BEEN EATING THOSE HORRIBLE CHINESE MEDICINE. *DIES*
BYE.
*POOFS*
N.

volleyball , by Nat!

2009-12-07T21:39:00.003+08:00

en qi here ! currently blogging for Nat ! that lazy girl! is so lazy to update her blog ! GRRRR!OH okay so , today had training , hmm , the B' girls had friendly match with Pasir Ris Sec . OHOH!! and coach actually took video of the B' girls playing match with them !! HOHOHO!! Sindy was the one who took the camera and take them !! haha! so , first match , our B' girls won! 28 - 26 ... then second match dunno how much luhs , but i think very close also ... but they lost la ...OHOHOH!! and Nat sprained her ankle again! ): sad !! hope she recover soon !!! gonna miss her !! SHIT YOU LA NAT ! then after their second match , coach ask the C' girls so go for PT again! run stairs and do push ups again! this time , we must finish in 20 mins! so ran 120 floors and did 225 push ups together !! we did PT while the B' girls continue playing match , they lost again 23 - 25 . but it's okay , they did well i can say , the same as the C' girls la , win 1 match , lose 2 match ... haha! SENIORS! you all did well although you all lost ! (: it was tough though :P okay , then after we ran the stairs , we did serving then play 4 people match ... lol ...and then the B' girls got punished! they do a lot of things!! worst then our PT la ! they suppose to do , 600 crutches, 71 x 18m of push ups and 95 laps of suiside run. WOW! how amazing right ?! coach gone mad !! but coach went off early , so , they cheated ! bad example man !! haha! joking joking ! while they were doing their punishments , we the C ' girls were playing so happily in the court ! haah! then after a while of playing , we got to keep the nets and stuffs already then we nvr keep then we cao le !! aahah! then went AMK hub with M , C and S , OHGREAT! M bought her sis green bean soup again .. -.-' okay, then after eat finish , cao le ! then bye !! okay! that's all for today ! but about Nat's stuffs? i dont know anything! woots ! kays ! signing off here !!NATALIE !! must recover soon okays ?!?! loves you ! :P

Phantom Of The Opera

2009-12-06T22:34:00.004+08:00

Seriously, today is weird. I have like thousand and one stuffs to blog about, but everything just disappears when I start typing. Anyhoo, I can't believe I ate 2 bowls of rice today. Guess I was damn hungry... And now, I still want supper. Tsk, maybe I'm under an amount of unbelievable stress and I don't even know it. *dies* Anyway, sometimes, do you ever miss someone till extend of going nuts? Imagine, you have a boyfriend. And he doesn't have a freaking phone. (That's the worst scenario for all girls,well not for me). And then everyday, you just hope that he'll either call you or text you. Till one day, you totally gave up guessing where he is and what he's doing and start feeling nonchalant. Well, that's what's become of me.
Okay, ignore what I'm saying. I can't recall what I wanna type so I'm just typing crap. tsk. -.- Training tomorrow. I can't stand my suck-ish spiking skills, got to work harder than usual. Sayonara peepos. *poofs*

You're like the phantom and I'm just like Christine. You know my every move, but I don't know yours.
N. (TEEHEE)